Cliff Notes
by PhoenixFire Lia
Summary: Matt is MIA, locked away in a closet, perhaps, and so Quatre from Gundam Wing takes over. Shadowmon has fun, and something explodes...as usual.
1. Books One and Two

Cliff Notes

Cliff Notes

I promised Snodin I would Cliff Note her Digital Keepers saga, so that's what I'm doing. The following is for the first couple chapters. 

** **

Matt was lying on his couch in his dressing room, reading fanfics on his laptop while discussing the possibilities of opening for Britney Spears in her next concert with his agents. He eventually noticed the readers staring at him from outside of the Fanfic, and stopped what he was doing. 

"Hey there. Lia has me doing the Cliff Notes, since I'm her 'muse.' That and the fact that I don't have my own fanfic series and if she gave me one I'd be her slave for a month. So, here it is, my very own cliff note series. Gabumon, can you get over here?"

Horn Dog hopped off his futon and waddled over to the couch. 

"What? I was watching Card Captor commercials. I'm trying to figure out if that's really Julian or not because it's bothering me. That and I'm waiting for my ice cream to be sent up."

"Well, do you mind recapping what happened in the saga? It's kind of important."

"Oh fine. The Digidestined were just hanging out and doing their thing when everything started going haywire. Turns out it was because the four Digital Gods were crossing into the real world. The Digital World is being threatened by an evil known as the Shadowmon and…"

A charcoal-gray and blue cat teleported herself onto Matt's dresser, right next to his vat of hair gel, and stared at the Guardians of Friendship. 

"Somebody say my name?"

"No, Shadowmon, we weren't talking about you," Matt sighed. 

"Yeah, this is a different Shadowmon."

"A different Shadowmon? Are they as cute, or amazing, or absolutely fabulous as I am?"

"No, they're evil and are trying to take over the Digital World," Gabumon stated. 

"Evil kitties?"

"They're not cats."

"Well then what are they?" 

"We're not sure yet. Keep up the good work, Gabumon."

"Well anyway, the story keeps coming back to Gennai and his young ward. Gennai shows the boy that there are a few crests that were never used…I figure they're going to be important later. Oh, and _you _get to have a concert."

Matt grinned. "It's good to be the bishounen."

"Yeah, but you grow up to have a chin like Jay Leno and space out…literally," Shadowmon pointed out. 

"Not here. This is a different reality, which means you're allowed to exist and I can be a teenager forever. So go bother somebody else and let me do my show."

"Fine. I think you're a jerk anyways and that's why Nicki's going to…oops, too much information."

"Nicki's going to what?"

Shadowmon ported herself out of the dressing room in a cloud of chalky-smelling smoke. 

Matt sighed, getting his bass guitar out of the corner. 

"Well, we'll probably find out soon enough, eh Gabumon?"

Gabumon wasn't listening, he was too busy indulging himself in several pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. 

"All right, I know this wasn't the most thorough of Cliff Notes, but next set I promise they'll be a bit better. Hey, this is my first series so be nice…or else."

Lia stuck her head into the dressing room. "How'd it go?"

"Not bad. We need to do something about Shadowmon barging in unexpectedly."

"I'll talk to Nicki about it. In the meantime, how about we lock up and get an ice cream?"

"My ice cream! My ice cream!" Gabumon hollered, clutching the cartons possessively. 

"You've certainly got your hands full with this show, Matt."

"Mm-hmm. I just hope since I'm doing the show I'll get more reviews than you."

~*~

So, that's like chapter one of my own series of Cliff Notes. Send me reviews so I can taunt Lia for being the better author. 

Yeah, like that'll happen. Remember, T.K. grows up to be the author, you're the astronaut. 

Astronaut my digivice. I'm immortally fifteen, so it's Teenage Wolves or nothing. 

**Uh-huh, sure. Just send the Ishida reviews and swell his ego. **


	2. Books Three and Four

Cliff Notes

Cliff Notes

**_More excitement per ounce than any Batpig fic!_**

**_ _**

Matt's lounging by the company pool, relaxing under the shade of an umbrella with a cold drink. Tsunomon bounces over, seemingly excited. 

"Guess what guess what guess what guess what?" he questions, being the hyperactive horned basketball thing he is. 

"What?" Matt asks, sighing as he humors the creature. 

"I digivolved to Metalgarurumon all by myself!"

"And…?" 

"I blew up an ice cream truck!" 

Matt chokes on the ice cube he had in his mouth. "What?!"

"You want a Sno-Cone?"

"No! I can't believe you blew up an ice cream truck, really Tsunomon! I've got to do my show, I'll deal with this later. Hey, welcome back to Cliff Notes. I'm your host, Matt, and in case you have noticed, our employer Snodin posted a few new chapters to the saga."

The blonde bishounen pulls out a page's worth of notes written while reading the fanfic. 

"And now, a recap. The whole gang goes back to the Digital World and meets up with their partner digimon. However, it's not as happy as it seems. They…well, it's us but in a different reality so it's not us…man, I sound like Izzy…anyway, they get ambushed by the Shadowmon."

Once again we are interrupted by the black-and-blue cat digimon with the same name. 

"You rang?"

Matt glowers. "Must I remind you that this isn't about your species?"

Tsunomon grins. "Want some ice cream? I blew up a truck!"

"Ooh! I wanna fudgeicle!" Shadowmon squeals.

"Shadowmon, giving you anything that contains sugar is like giving Izzy to Yolei," Matt states, causing the cat to leave in a huff. 

"Okay, so the Shadowmon attacked. Now see, all the champions combined should be enough to take care of them, but when the Shadowmon digivolved to a mess of evil ultimate digimon, we basically got our butts kicked. However, this magic tree Mimi found provided some help…and jewelry. Tai, Mimi, and Ken were given necklaces corresponding with their crests…you know, Courage, Sincerity, and Kindness. Cody was given a nifty little bracelet with his very own crest, Justice. Fitting, isn't it? Yeah, so now we have the assistance of Metalgreymon, Lillymon, Shakkoumon minus the Angemon half, and Stingmon's ultimate form of Dinobeemon. The Shadowmon, needless to say, were driven off."

Tsunomon digivolves to Gabumon while Matt's recounting the tale, and runs off to collect his booty. 

"Mmm, ice cream…" the lizard-dog drools. 

"Now this magic tree isn't your average, run-of-the-mill magic tree," Matt continues, "it's actually part woman…sort of. In reality, she's Gaiamon, the Digital Keeper of Earth. She and her sisters Polarimon, Keeper of Sky, and Oceanamon…do I even have to explain her?…protect the Digital World and actually helped create it. Yet, not everything is peachy keen. There's also the Keeper of Darkness. He's either this guy Daru, a human, or the evil Master he works for. Daru is actually responsible for the Shadowmon and now he's running amok with the seven Sin Digimon…you guessed it, named after the Seven Deadly Sins. We also get a reunion with Gennai, who's been reformatted to be a geezer again, along with Gennai's ward Kellen, who makes digimon like Kurumon, this fluffy thing…sorry, Lia takes lousy notes. So now the team has to find the other two Keepers, stay away from the Shadowmon, defeat the villains, and wouldn't you know it? There's a thirteenth Digidestined somewhere." 

And now, after being thoroughly interrupted, Matt is bothered further by Terriermon, randomly showing up on the scene. 

"But our group has _fifteen _Digidestined! More if you count the Around-the-World Digidestined!" 

Matt sighs. "Different reality. Now go shoot some Trix commercials or something, I'm _working._"

Terriermon leaves as suddenly as he appears. 

Matt rubs a temple, feeling a migraine coming on. "Yeah, so stay tuned here because I'm sure our boss'll put up another chapter or two in the near future. For Cliff Notes, I'm Matt Ishida. Send me those reviews…Lia doesn't deserve them."

**WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T DESERVE THEM?!**

~*~

Elsewhere, Nicki sits and watches surveillance tapes of Matt and his show. Shadowmon, with her coveted fudgeicle, sits close by. 

"Look at Matt. His head is so empty! When I am through with him I will fill his head with juice! And then I will drink the juice in a victory juice…drinking………thingy."

"I like juice!" Shadowmon interjects. 

"Be quiet, Shad!"

**As you can see, I enjoy Invader ZIM way too much. **

~*~

**_Like I said before, send the reviews! I will prove to Lia I am the superior being!_**

**Matt, I think all that hair gel has leaked into your brain. **

Yeah, right. Now if you'll excuse me, I will be elsewhere, teaching Ken the finer points of being a moody, blue-eyed bishounen. 

**_ _**


	3. Books Five and Six

Cliff Notes

Cliff Notes

**_I am not responsible for my digimon's actions. I swear._**

**_ _**

Matt's back at the company pool, chilling on an inflatable chaise lounge with an iced coffee. Playboy bunnies in string bikinis are playing Marco Polo in the background, cooing and giggling over the bishounen. 

**Whoa! Hold it! Just because you host the show doesn't mean you write the fic!**

**Lia and I are not going to sit here and take this!**

"Wait…when did Sora get Omnipotent Author Boldface?"

**Right now. Make the bunnies disappear or Lia and I saw you in half!**

Matt grumbles something under his breath and the Playmates vanish. 

"I'm Matt, and you're here with another dose of Cliff Notes. Now hopefully Gabumon won't try anything ice cream related to…oh crap."

The lizard-dog thingy comes waddling past the pool with a boxload of explosive devices and a gun holster strapped to his waist. Of course, instead of guns, Gabumon's packing ice cream scoops. 

"Gabumon, what are you doing?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all! I certainly wasn't planning on raiding the Dairy Queen down the street!"

Matt sighs and tips his blue-tinted sunglasses back. "Well, let's light this candle."

"You want a firecracker? I can blow the windshield off the nearest ice cream truck and get one for you while the driver's disoriented!"

*sigh* "Okay, so in the latest books of the Digital Keepers saga, the gang is marching through the snow. It would've been walking, but Mimi _had _to complain. And they were singing while they were marching. Well, they (or we) split up…typical Digidestined style. One group heads off towards the ocean to find Oceanamon, the other to the mountains to seek out Polarimon. Of course, the Sin Digimon are watching. My alternate universe self happens to think Keeper #1, Gaiamon, is one bishoujo of a tree, and it confuses Gabumon because he thinks I still like Sora…our relationship is on the rocks in this fic. Well, Davis starts acting like a dolt and ends up getting us attacked by the Shadow…oh no, I'm not even finishing that word. I know perfectly well what happens every time I say that."

"Say what, Matt?" Gabumon asks. 

"Shadowmon…NO!"

The cat pops up. "Somebody ring for me?"

"Hi Shad! You wanna help me break into the Dairy Queen? We can sit under the soft serve machines and turn them on so the ice cream drips right into our mouths!"

Matt blinks. "That's disgusting."

"I wanna help I wanna help I wanna help I wanna help I wanna…I have a vet's appointment today," the digital kitten whined. 

"Darn. I'll save ya something good."

"Okie-dokie!"

"Where was I? Oh, right, the attack. One of the Shadowmon…not you, cat…grabs Davis and takes off with him, much to Chibimon's chagrin. Meanwhile, a digimon called Penguinmon is searching for his Digidestined partner, the Child of Humility. Back with Davis, the Shadowmon tell him that they plan to capture Oceanamon…right before they attempt feeding Dai to a Devidramon. Our goggled goofball escapes using some pretty smooth moves on his part, and arrives back with our group just in time to help us fight the Shadowmon. And in the other team, Tai was acting just as goofy as Davis had been. Then the Seven Sins decided that if they use the Shadowmon to blot out the sky, we couldn't contact Polarimon. So the Shadowmon formed a thick blanket, and even the combined attacks of several champions and two ultimate digimon couldn't stop them. Back in my group, we ended up in Digitamamon's diner. Joe and I had conniption fits about it. Greedmon, Pridemon, and Lustmon showed up and apparently they know something about Wormmon that we don't. Gomamon digivolved into Ikkakumon, and got whapped so badly, he vanished. As in they smacked him, he went flying, we can't find him. What a day!"

Gabumon starts running down the road towards the DQ, laughing maniacally. 

"Um, I've gotta run. For Cliff Notes, I'm Matt Ishida. Catch ya later! GABUMON, GET BACK HERE! YOU ARE _NOT _BLOWING THAT ICE CREAM STORE UP! GABUMON!!!"

~*~

**Don't give Matt any reviews, he's mean. **

**Yeah!**

**_Girls. Sheesh. _**


	4. Book Seven

Cliff Notes

Cliff Notes

**_All the bishounen that's fit to print._**

**_ _**

We find Matt, our avant-garde host, sitting at the kitchen table in that hideous leprechaun-ish school uniform of his, staring at the ominous pile of books laid out before him. Yes, children, it be back-to-school for this brunette…which means the rest of the cast is made to suffer. Gabumon tiptoes by with a large sack and a cardboard box labeled 'bomb constructing equipment.'

"Gabumon…"

The horned lizard-dog glances up from his hasty retreat, looking as innocent as he possibly can. "Ye-es, Matt?"

"Can you grab that pen on the floor? I dropped it while attempting to figure out the gibberish they call English."

Gabumon winks at the camera, thinking he's in the clear. "Of course, Matt."

"Oh, and if you're attempting to blow up another ice cream shop, I'm telling you now you will die a slow and painful death only Lia can devise. And on that note, welcome to another rousing addition of Cliff Notes. I'm your oh-so-morose host Matt, here with my thirty thousand heavy textbooks, ready to condense another fun-filled chapter of the Keepers saga into a few small paragraphs."

Gabumon sneaks off to God-knows-where, probably to attempt jumping from the balcony, which, we may add, is very high up. 

"So…here it goes. Last chapter, we were horrified to discover Gomamon had been royally smacked by the Sha…evil villains, and knocked somewhere into the ocean. As of the beginning of the chapter, he's sleeping with the fishes. Meanwhile, our team of bishounen, geniuses, and Davis…we're not sure where he fits in that category at this moment, are off to find our seal friend. Wormmon is still a little freaked out due to the encounter with the Sin Digimon. Um…at this point the notes get a little fuzzy…I think Lia was drooling on them…something about me, Garurumon, and no shirt. I can only imagine what her kinky mind was envisioning. Oh dear. Yeah, well, Cody and Izzy stay on shore for plot reasons, mainly, because they meet Penguinmon, who eventually explains how there's a thirteenth Digidestined…a girl…and she's apparently Japanese. Hey, I don't write the story, I just condense it."

Gabumon waltzes by again, holding a sheet of white paper. 

"We got an urgent email that I'm needed at the Baskin-Robbins three blocks away so…"

"Not on your life, Gabumon," Matt retorts. "Back to the notes…Gomamon comes to, in time to meet a mermaid. Speculation points to the hypothesis that the mermaid is the elusive Oceanamon…and man, did I just sound like Izzy or what? Well, the mermaid actually says less than Trowa of Gundam Wing, so Gomamon takes it upon himself to carry on a one-sided conversation. And wouldn't you know it? Who should show up but another hoard of Shadowmon…oh shoot."

Everyone's favorite kitten-gone-secret agent appears wearing a small shower cap and toting a rubber ducky. 

"Never fails. You get into the bathtub and somebody needs you. Wassup?"

"Not you! Another Shadowmon! _GO AWAY!" _Matt hollers, swatting at her with his geometry book. 

"Fine. See if I send you a Christmas card this year."

"You don't anyways," Gabumon points out. 

Shadowmon sticks her tongue out and disappears. 

"Well, the _other _Shadowmon attack, and the Seadramon of that blonde mama's boy Michael kicks some serious shadow. After a brief discussion with Gomamon, some swimming, scene jumps, page breaks, etc. the two digimon pick up the new old crests."

Izzy walks onto the set and hits Matt with a grammar book. 

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Redundancy. And because Nicki said she'd pay me if I did," the redheaded genius replies. 

Matt is heard muttering something unsuitable for the Y7 target audiences' ears and continues his show. 

"Okay, there are more _other _Shadowmon, and another fight scene, which means Joe, Izzy and I pull out the big guns and we end up with Zudomon, Megakabuterimon, and Weregarurumon…who, of course, win the battle. And I, being the optimist I am, get worried about the rest of the gang because Taichi hasn't sent any mail since we parted ways. Me and my weird feelings."

Gabumon walks by again, with a scrap of paper. "The producers called. They want to meet with me about my own spin-off series, so I'll be at the Ben and Jerry's…"

"Nice try, Gabumon. One, the phone didn't ring, and two, nobody in their right mind would give you your own show."

Gabumon gives Matt a depressed look and trudges back to his futon. 

"Well, that wraps up another edition of Cliff Notes. I'm Matt Ishida, and Lia, next time don't drool on my notes!"

The omnipresent author appears in a flash of cheesy CGI effects. 

"Is it _my _fault Snodin chose to give me fabulous mental imagery of you astride one wolf thing topless? Hmm? And is it _my _fault that you're devilishly bishounen?"

"Yes. Yes it is."

~*~

**_All your reviews are belong to me. _**

Snodin, the story would be much better if you included more scenes of Matt sans shirt. Or pants. Even just no socks!

**_Lia…pervy author chick. _**

**Ah, but don't you love me for it? ;) **


	5. Books Eight, Nine, and Ten...I think

Cliff Notes

**_It's Lia's fault, all of it. _**

            We find Matt, the inhumanly gorgeous anime bishounen sitting outside of the studio, basking in the revelry of a warm day. Let's rephrase that. A warm day in New England in April. That's about as rare as a tape of _Gestalt. _Well, a VHS tape of _Gestalt _close to where the author lives and isn't twenty-five freaking bucks. Let's join said bishounen…now!

            "Hey everybody. I'm Matt, and I'm really sorry that I didn't update this sooner. Lia's had me busy between writing papers, other fanfics, doing stuff for the Alliance, being her music and drama Muse, and just being a popular rock star bishounen in general. So, many apologies to Snodin for being so delayed with this. You can kill Lia for it. Now onto the re…Gabumon!" 

Everyone's favorite schizophrenic lizard-dog with the horn stuck his head out from the bushes. 

"Yes, Matt?" he asked, still trying to seem innocent. We know he isn't. 

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

Matt glared at him with utter disdain, pulled a pair of hedgeclippers out of hammerspace and hacked the bushes up. There sat Gabumon with his usual hoard of explosives, blueprints, and a tub of Oreo ice cream. 

            "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to blow something up again? Something having to do with ice cream?"

"What makes you say that?" 

"Gabumon, I'm not stupid. As punishment, you have to review the past three episodes of the Keepers fic."

Gabumon made his lower lip quiver. "But Lia's notes are choppy and hard to read and you know every time you say that word that damn cat pops up and we have to deal with her and…you're going to make me do it anyways, aren't you?"

"You know me all too well."

            "Fine. You people have your freaking crests; Tai's little party has a cloud. And you, being so high and mighty, decide you want everybody to meet you in Metal-tropolis. Well guess what? That's not going to happen, because Mephismon, this big nasty monster with a goat head and bat wings, he's gonna pop up and attack Tai's group. And just before that, you and Sora have a freaking lovers' tiff! And Wargreymon and Rosemon can't even beat this thing, especially not after he digivolved to Galfmon! And then I come along as Metalgarurumon and we can't even put him out then! Pridemon ends up axing him! And then oh, we have to focus on Ken and have Ken flashbacks as we go to Metal-tropolis, don't we? And we have to meet these Yanmamon things that look like those freaking p***mon, don't we? And Metalseadramon has to be running the place, doesn't he?"

"Gabumon, I really think you need to calm down now."

"Shut up, you quivering mass of hair gel, I'm reviewing! Wormmon's a virus, and the people of Metal-tropolis hate viruses, so Ken and Wormmon get the boot. They hook up with a bunch of Gazimon. The Devas, who apparently work for the big important bad guy, attack Metal-tropolis, even though they're virus and vaccine. Stingmon, who comes back to help, gets wailed on and almost dies…again. It takes everybody's power to revive him, and he freaking warp digivolves to GranKuwagamon. Everybody helps rebuild Metal-tropolis, and we get the freaking Leafmon."

"Gabumon, I…"

            "Interrupt me again and I'll gnaw your ankles off! We go to the fecking woods because we need to get to the fecking beach and Ken goes off to get some fecking apples. He meets up with Lustmon while getting his fecking apples and it starts sounding like porn. Greedmon and Demidevimon are apparently watching. Oh, and Ken's just _so _important because of his fecking Dark Spore! And Stingmon just _has _to come and make it better. And 'evil' just has to 'never truly go away!' And that fecking Penguinmon hasn't gone away yet! In fact, he's back! And he's inviting them to a party. And _you, _fecking human, are fighting with Sora again! And there's a flashback of, quote, 'sweet Yama love.' And then, to make everything all better, we have to meet up with the fecking _SHADOWMON!_"

The cat by the same name appears once again, this time wearing Lia's lavender girly Kaiser beach sunglasses. 

"You rang? I'm helping Lia pack for her happy fun vacation with twenty hours on a bus with her daddy, who's crazier than your daddy, BakaYama!" 

Matt stared morosely at her. "Gabumon's blown a gasket, he's gone completely insane."

"Fun! Can I knock him out with a two-by-four and take over reviewing?"

"I wish you would."

            And so Shadowmon knocked Gabumon out with a two-by-four. 

"Yay! So, there's a whole lot of _CHAOS! _But normal chaos, not the cranberry sauce chaos from Tamers. And there's a song! And the Crest of Humility gets lost! Which is bad! But that's okay, cuz we get to go to Mardi Gras and we meet a chick named April! I wonder if she's from the Ninja Turtles. Anyway, Davis and Yolei come up with some farfetched, harebrained scheme to get you, BakaYama, and Red back together while you're dancing in a nightclub. I don't know if it worked, but Greedmon showed up again and you think there's gonna be a big battle but there _ISN'T! _Cuz Davis cons him and he goes away, and it turns out the chick was Oceanamon the whole time. And get this, you're really gonna love this, it turns out that the girl our penguin (pronounced pen-gew-inn) friend was looking for is……………………………_JUN!!!"_

Matt fell out of his chair. "What?! _HER?! _No, this can't be right. This is some evil scheme Lia came up with to mock me. This isn't…where's the story? I wanna read this for myself!"

            The horrified bishounen whacked Izzy over the head with a bottle of SoBe lemonade and stole his laptop, logging onto fanfiction.net and downloading the chapter previously condensed. And then he fell over. 

"Ooh! Matt passed out! Hey Lia, can I poke him with a big stick?"

**No. **

"Oh. Well, I gotta go, pig. I'll see you later."

When Matt didn't respond, Shadowmon got right in his face and screamed, "I gotta go, pig. I'll see you later!"

            Lia emerged from the dark cave she usually hides in and glanced at the unconscious fanfic host sprawled on the ground. 

"Well, looks like he won't be closing this fic. For Cliff Notes, I'm Lia Agianna, filling in for Matt Ishida. See you next time. Oh, and I'm considering running a web manga on keenspace.com possibly. I'll have to think about it, because I wouldn't be able to use Matt since he's a copyrighted character and I'd get in trouble. I dunno. Have a great vacation, watch out for bizarre prank callers, do well on standardized tests, and eat your vegetables. See ya!"

~*~

In case you're wondering, I took a standardized test today and had a bizarre prank call. 

**_*wakes up* Ugh. What'd I miss?_**

Ending the fanfic. 

_Oh. No big loss. So…if you can't use me in this web manga, who would you use?_

I've already done some sketches for a hottie tentatively named Ishi. 

_Ishi like Ishida?_

Yeah, it's gonna be his first name. 

_…Intriguing. And frightening. ___


	6. Books Eleven and Twelve

Cliff Notes

**_Brought to you by the letter Q._**

****

            We find ourselves out behind the infamous Studio Thirteen, where Lia is surveying the deck where her brand spanking new hot tub is supposed to go when the truck delivers it, grinning fiendishly. She waves at the camera, carried by technical lackey Izzy Izumi, who wanders off to find Matt. Instead, yet another blonde motions him over to the director's chair he is sitting in, holding a virgin strawberry daiquiri. 

            "Um…you're Quatre Winner from _Gundam Wing, _aren't you?" Izzy asked nervously. 

            "Yes, I'm Quatre Raberba Winner. Pleased to meet you."

            "Yeah. Where's Matt? This is his show, that he's supposed to be hosting…right now."

Lia walked onto the set, holding her very own virgin strawberry daiquiri and looking exceedingly guilty. She made a face at Quatre and then grinned sheepishly at Izzy. 

            "We…don't know. It started with this sudden, urgent fixation on Quatre at the beginning of the month, so I swapped Muses from Matt and Ken to Duo and Quatre. This brought about a sudden, urgent need to write Gundam Wing fanfics, and somewhere between starting that and working on the web-comic and running about buying all things Wing, Matt got locked in some closet somewhere and we haven't found him yet. So…Quatre's doing the show this time around."

            "And on that note, welcome to Cliff Notes, I'm Quatre Raberba Winner, filling in for Matt. Snodin's _Keepers _arc has gotten very exciting in these new chapters, hasn't it, Miss Shadowmon?"

Said annoying cat appeared in her usual Nightcrawler smoke cloud. "Yeah! Hi there, Cat!"

            "Hello. Would you like to take the review this week, Miss Shadowmon?"

            "Sure! Kellen and his mysterious pet digimon, who turned out to be Calumon…stupid you, Lia…find Jun's digivice and send it her way. All of the Digidestined's parents get together…'cept for crazy Masaharu cuz that's his problem. Jun makes her way into the Digital World and practically wets herself she's so scared. But that's okay; cuz the Digiworld _can _be scary at times. And the gang is still looking for that Polarimon, and Yolei…stupid Yolei…has problems with Envymon, the Sin Digimon. And the other, not so cute Shadowmon attack. And Jun meets up with Penguinmon, who is very, very happy and very, very purple. And that's gonna be about it, Quatre. Lia didn't take any notes this time around…stupid you, Lia."

            "Thank you anyway, Shadowmon. I'm surprised Gabumon hasn't shown up yet. From what I've heard, he always pops up and attempts to blow something up."

Patamon flapped in, wearing a very neglected Batpig cape. "Nah, he's not gonna. With Matt locked in a closet, he's run free around the Ishida apartment and done whatever the heck he wants. Saw the new Austin Powers movie, blew several of Matt's paychecks at the mall, harassed the bandies, that sort of thing. There's gonna be some serious hell to pay when that boy is out of that closet…or cabinet…or dresser drawer…wherever he might have been deposited."

            "Oh," Quatre replied cutely, adjusting the collar of his favorite pink shirt. And yes, it definitely is pink. "Well, for Cliff Notes, I'm Quatre. If you'll excuse me now, I'm gonna finish my drink and head back to Gundam House. I'm quite certain chaos has broken loose and Trowa and I are usually the ones to take care of that."

Nicki walked in with Trowa and a couple of pina coladas. Said hyperactive _still fifteen_-year-old tossed Quatre a box of band-aids. 

            "Here ya go, Cat. You're so going to need them," she stated. 

Lia returned with another glass of daiquiri, giggling slightly. "Nicki, remember that scary cockatoo man from that movie?"

            "Somebody spiked your drink, didn't they?" Nicki asked, glaring as only Nicki can. Lia shrugged. 

            "Dunno. Cody gave it to me." 

            "Oh, then it's definitely spiked."

And somewhere, locked in a rather small closet, surviving only because he's a cartoon character and cartoons can live inside small closets for a very long time, Matt was starting his four hundred and thirty second chorus of the infamous "Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer" song. In German. Backwards. 

~*~

**There was a random Pikachu in the new Austin Powers movie!**

Winner: Should've been a random Gundam. 

Maxwell: Yeah. Or a really, really big me. 

Ichijouji: These things get stranger and stranger by the chapter. 

**I know. Don't you love me for it?**

Kamiya: No. You'd better find Matt soon, or T.K. will be blowing things up. 

Takaishi: Omae o korosu, fecking author girl. 


End file.
